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Stains, Crowns, & Waiting

July 11, 2010

“…here I bring my stains and crowns,
gentle river wash me now.
your love is deeper than i know,
your ways are higher than i could go…”

I love those lines. What a beauty thing! that we can bring our stains and our crowns to Him. Sometimes I wonder if i can be too proud of my crowns to part with them, and too ashamed of my stains to bring them? It fascinates me that either way… stains or crowns, it is hard for me to give it up to the Lord. How patient the Lord is with me! I think sometimes I hear the verses from Isaiah about waiting upon the Lord and I think that the Lord keeps me waiting to grow my patience, but actually I’m beginning to thing the Lord keeps me waiting not so much to grow my patience but to grow my insight and understanding that even in my perceived waiting, it is actually the Lord who is waiting upon me.


Humble Pie

February 11, 2010

Humility is a very curious thing. Most of my life I have thought humility was being silent, muted, overlooked and ok with that. More and more I realize that humility is not losing your voice, but finding your voice and choosing to give up your right to use your voice for your own battle in order to fight someone else’s for them.

A Place Called Community…

February 9, 2010

“Nothing is sweet or easy about community. Community is a fellowship of people who do not hide their joys and sorrows but make them visible to each other in a gesture of hope. In community we say: “Life is full of gains and losses, joys and sorrows, ups and downs – but we do not have to live it alone. We want to drink our cup together and thus celebrate the truth that the wounds of our individual lives, which seem intolerable when lived alone, become sources of healing when we live them as part of a fellowship of mutual care…” (Can you Drink the Cup?, Henri Nouwn)

Sometimes i take for granted how beautiful friendships really can be. The kind of friends who know how to just let you sit in silence or tell you things you don’t want to hear but know you need to hear. The kind of friends who look at you and take you in, for all the joys you carry and all the burdens you bear. I am eternally grateful for friends who accept me as I am, challenge me to be better, and walk with me to the foot of the cross; collapsing in His care.

My New Blog

February 8, 2010

Here it is. My new blog.

I have always been pretty bad at keeping up a blog. Mostly because there is a stubborn part of me that wants to keep my private thoughts private… particularly because i have a deep seated hope that my thoughts would sound insightful, while at the same moment i have some deep seated fears that my thoughts actually sound lofty and shallow. But i think i am now caving into the “blogging world” less as an attempt to see if people are listening, and more as a discipline to really sit down and sort through the millions of thoughts cruising through my mind on my internal thought highway. I guess we’ll see how this works out.