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My own fragile soul

May 12, 2011

Was reflecting on this today, and it pretty much summarizes where i’m at…
“This is a pivotal moment in the life of a leader. It is the moment when whatever the promised land is for us — a church of a certain size, a new ministry, a new building, writing a book, being sought out as an expert — pales in significance when compared with our desire for God. At this point we might realize that we are missing the presence of God for ourselves personally. We might look around at what we’ve done or built and wonder whether we have somehow gotten out ahead of the very Presence that called us to this journey in the first place. Or maybe we see that our own relationship with God has been over taken with ministry concerns, and we grieve the loss of a sense of God’s presence deep within.

Leadership has taken a toll. A great emptiness has opened up, and we realize, as Moses did, that there is no promised land we could ever envision that matters nearly as much as the presence of God in our life right here and right now. Future possibilities are not enough, because we’re not even sure we will be around to see them. It is no longer enough to know that others are experience the goodness of God through us; there has to be some goodness in it for us, something to sustain our own fragile soul.”
(Ruth Haley Barton)

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